predicted this could only Yoda have.

At one in the morning I awoke to Katie calling from her room - very unusual.  I quickly woke up and went to her bedside - she complained that she was unable to sleep and her tummy wasn't feeling well. I thought nothing of it other than the usual solution of pooping.  She asked if she could sleep on the floor in our room and I happily obliged considering I just wanted to go back to sleep... not to mention, the unusual nature of her request had me on my toes and willing to meet whatever need arose.  We both rolled up into our covers and slept for another hour.

At two in the morning Katie awoke with a start and beckoned to me which was quickly followed by the familiar I-can't-seem-to-breath-panicked-look on her face and convulsions... she threw up all over the bedding on the floor.  Quickly my mind shifted from sleeping Mom to Mom of the Year Mom to Mom who can't go to her son's birthday party tomorrow Mom to Mom who is trying to control the world at two in the morning Mom to defeated Mom and with a mental slap in the face I was back to Mom of the Year Mom holding my daughter's hair back, rubbing her back, drawing a bath, combing out her fresh, clean hair and tucking her into clean bedding that Dad had put together.  Not a moment later, William walked in with a sullen look to his face and bright red cheeks... he had a fever and then the Mom schizophrenia started all over again - but with tears in my eyes this time.  We were going to have to call off the big party tomorrow.

and after three more throw up episodes with Katie and the family spread out amongst three rooms, we began to stir at approximately 7:15am.  I made the round of phone calls to all Moms affected by the canceled party and apologized profusely for what I knew would be a hard conversation with three Star-Wars-loving-boys.

Today is William's 5th Birthday and although all plans were put on hold, I can't say its been anything but a wonderful day... we had waffles and opened presents; we watched Tangled and William opened a harmonica after having lost his old one almost two years ago while on vacation with friends; we frosted cookies and ate lots of fruit; painted a wood model boat and drooled over his new favorite toy, a Y-Wing Fighter (a step below life-size); spent the morning and early afternoon with Kyle and got to play Lego Star Wars on the xBox...

if I do say so myself, I'm beginning to think that William has received quite the gift this year -- a day at home with all the dreams he could dream coming true... and a 'rain-check' for the Star Wars Exhibit at the Pacific Science Center - hopefully to resume next weeks sometime.

... and I felt sorry for that little guy.  No wonder he's been smiling and sharing and loving on everyone around him - aside from his generous heart, that is.  He's just been given the gift of anticipation and excitement all over again... and its wrapped in incredible gifts to satisfy his instant gratification!

 William, my little man, you are incredibly special and my heart is overwhelmed with love for you.  Enjoy your birthday week...

things that make me irritated, er, smile

Over the recent couple of days I have found that my tendency to get irritated with the lack of tidiness around my house has increased.  My first action item is to check my medication schedule and make sure I'm not missing any SSRIs, if you know what I mean... when that has checked out I resort to other self-criticism and then onto blaming others.  It rarely gets that far though - although, my husband might disagree with that... maybe I should clarify, it rarely gets that far and is justified.

Its usually me.

When I realize that its me and I've got something going on in my life, or my head for that matter, that produces a less than satisfactory sense of control over my emotions, I try to spend some time in scripture... pray to my heavenly Father that He will comfort me and give me a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding and help me to see things for what they are... and He always does - most of those times I am quiet enough in my heart to really grab hold of what He wants me to experience and run with it.

This morning I spent time indulging in what my house looks like 99% of the time... with children and crafts and artwork and schedules... and would I change it for anything?  to look more orderly and clean? to look more organized and without faults?  quite honestly, yes, I would sometimes... but it would be a far cry to the mother that God has created me to be... and yes, I do love how it looks.

If only I could grab onto that in the split second before my irritation builds beyond what I can bear...

Katie made a cover for my lampshade... would it 'look' nicer were it not there?  Of course.

ingredients for a good day

a birthday boy who loves all things Star Wars

Star Wars Exhibit and Millenium Falcon Experience

and Star Wars sugar cookies

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TOMORROW WILLIAM!

a box of good delivered

'It's like Christmas on Tuesdays!' someone mentioned when they heard I had signed up for Klesick Family Farm's 'box of good'... yes, it was like Christmas this weekend as I waited for Tuesday to arrive - not to mention yesterday and today!

I took Katie to school... excitedly drove up the driveway and looked left to the front step as I put the van in PARK. Nothing.

Picked Katie up from school... excitedly drove up the driveway and looked left to the front step... IT'S HERE!!! There on my front step were two cardboard boxes of fresh, local, organic produce teasing me in all their packaging. The kids were just as excited as I was and they heaved the heavy boxes through the entry way and into the kitchen where I spent another 20 minutes taking pictures. How could I not?

Klesick Family Farms has made an incredible first impression... the customer service from talking to Mike directly on the phone to receiving my box of good and having all the expected 'fresh this week' produce as well as the last minute items I had added to my order such as shallots, bananas, lemons and limes. The oranges were exceptional and exploded in my mouth and I decided that these orange peels couldn't go to waste - they'll be used to infuse olive oil. The broccolini will be put to use tonight and the others carefully incorporated into my weekly meal plan...

So far I am one. satisfied. customer.

My 'gift' as a first time customer of Klesick Family Farms!!

thankful

I'm thankful that this week we sat with another family in our living room, confessing sin, repenting of that sin, asking forgiveness, offering forgiveness and finding restoration.  It was beautiful to see adults and children alike confess and repent and get to experience the Spirit at work in both our families individually and corporately. 

I'm thankful that this week we decided to make The Journey Church our home church and begin the process of partnering with Christ in what He is doing in and with that body of believers.

I'm thankful that today Pastor Matthew spoke so clearly to the heart of what it looks like to partner with Christ on a daily basis.  To stop scripting our own idea of what it looks like to follow Him and instead read His word, commune with Him and seek to be obedient regardless of how small or foolish it may seem to ourselves and the world around us.  The small steps towards the cross are a part of a greater plan that God has for His kingdom - and we don't want to miss it.  His kingdom is in our midst right now... do we see it?  Or are we too busy writing our own script?  As I find myself unsettled about Kyle and I's lack of certainty in the next step of our life, I find myself pulling out the paper, grabbing the pen, dipping it in ink and beginning to forge forth with wonderful ideas that are self-proclaimed and leave me at risk of missing His presence that is available to me right now.  His Kingdom is moving forward and each moment I get to choose to reap the rewards of partnering with Him or reap the destruction of making my own movie to the tune of impatience and all things worldly.

I'm thankful that someone I love dearly stepped foot in my home this week, that we met each others' gaze and began what may be a work of God's restoring power.  I'm prayerful that I will lay down my own ideals and instead humble myself, walk toward reconciliation and prepare for whatever it is God's wanting to do in our lives individually, and again, corporately.

I'm thankful that my Dad drove over this weekend and was able to spend time with Kyle, the kids and me.  I witnessed the Spirit at work in my Dad's daily life as he makes what may seem like small decisions to partner with what God is wanting to do with him.  It was such a testimony to me and I'm so grateful for a Dad and Mom who continue to learn what it is to submit to the Lord and ask Him for direction - they are not in the business of writing their own scripts at this point in their life.  May I find encouragement in that and continue to lay even the smallest of daily decisions before the Lord knowing that He has a plan and His kingdom is moving forward with or without me.  There is nothing more exciting than watching the God of the universe unveil His glory -- and if we are too busy staring at our 'script', we will miss it.

I'm thankful that my daughter, Katie, walked out of her Sunday school class and began reciting the scripture learned that day in class.  I'm thankful that we walked in the door from church and she asked if she could have the bible I gave her today for her very own... asking if she could decorate it and put her name on it.  No pictures inside, no study notes... nothing other than the active, living scripture of Jesus Christ.  Praise you God.

I'm thankful for Hot Yoga.  In T-3 hours, I will be stepping inside a 105 degree studio ready to spend 90 minutes bending my body in ways I forgot I could bend... and for a moment, I will close my eyes and pretend I'm on the beach at dusk... doing yoga and breathing in the hot, humid climate of some tropical place.

I'm thankful for my husband who wants with all his might to be obedient to the Lord.  To fashion his daily life after that of Jesus.  He wants his relationship with me, his relationship with his kids, his relationship with his co-workers to be transparent and in need of the work of Jesus Christ so that he can experience the Lord's work every moment of every day.  To be in a spot of humility so that he can be open to the Spirit's leading albeit 'foolish' to the world... and sometimes foolish to me.  He leads our family in such a way that I'm more than proud to stand next to him, I'm humbled.

I'm thankful Lord.  

 

this is the way we roll on the weekends

Leave it to Kyle to say, 'yeah, but it should be bigger... we'll make it bigger.' I'm thinking that I just bought the Diet Coke at the store and a pack of Mentos whilst shopping for the usual stuff I usually shop for. (don't judge my grammar) And I assumed that a simple drop of Mentos into the open bottle would be cool enough but I should have known...

It seems that creating a LOT of pressure inside the bottle with nothing more than a pinhole to escape through, the stream of sugary liquid can peak at 20+ feet into the air.

Without paying any attention to my husband's weekend attire, please indulge yourself with what was one of the greatest moments to date in the eyes of our children.

Pinhole.  Stringed Mentos. Clothes pin to hold. Screw on the cap.

Hey Will, I've got an idea.  You pull out the clothes pin!

I think we'll do it again this weekend.

persistence

THIS DARN BREAD

IS

TAKING

FOREVER

doodle 4 google

I will be honest and say that the following images did not get entered into the 'doodle 4 google' contest... Katie was much less concerned about the lack of timeliness on the part of her mother than her mother was. I really think she had something - and I was excited to put that feather in my cap rejoice humbly with her when she won.

The first doodle was because she'd like to be an equestrian...

The second doodle came out of left field one night - she wants to be a mother and a wife... THAT was a cool moment. How beautiful that she sees that as a career! Love it.

Katie-bug, I love you so much. We'll doodle again next year...

a box of good

Ahhh... another dinner prepped with all the needed ingredients...

except the shallots.

I pack up the kiddos putting on each the easiest footwear possible, leaving their faces disgracefully messy, their noses not wiped and their attitudes victim to hunger and exhaustion... not a good mix. 

but i need shallots.

Once arriving at the store, I see the bargains down every aisle -- the prices are screaming at me and I begin to quickly skate down the aisles grabbing some of this and a little of that... a pile of that and a couple of those.

Checking out reveals that I've once again chosen to 'stock up' even though I don't necessarily need to stock up...

all I needed was shallots.

So I'm excited to say that next week we'll be receiving our first 'box of good' from Klesick Family Farm! 

The original motivation for purchasing organic produce delivery was my desire to cut down on my grocery store visits for reasons such as the aforementioned but after reading their story and getting acquainted with their heart of farming and buying local, my excitement grew into what I think could be a dangerous love affair... I mean, they sell everything from bread to beef.

I could get used to this.

hairy little fish, tasty little fish

Yesterday I was craving salad.  But not just any salad - I wanted a little bit of everything.  Tang, sweetness, crunch, bite of cheese and protein... and I've got to have all the ingredients because I want the salad pronto!

Caesar with Chicken.  That's it.

I had a few leaves left of romaine, a rotisserie chicken from Costco, some homemade croutons and hairy little anchovy fillets.  I had all I'd need to make the quintessential  Chicken Caesar.  I made my first ever homemade Caesar dressing and it was all I'd dreamed it to be.  Now I'm addicted.

The first jar was finished last night at a friend's house where we ate Caesar Salad with beer and pizza - so good!  And today I began craving that yummy salad again at about 10:00am -

so I made another jar.

See the recipe here.

free range kids

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist who writes for the New York Sun (at least I think she still does.)  Here's a column from her site that I read today about Stranger Danger - the response from the German, in particular, is very much the approach Kyle and I want to take with our children.  The idea of not teaching our children common sense skills due to our own parental fear and instead flooding them with unfounded information is becoming too prevalent...

LOVE This Letter (About "Stranger Danger!")