Penn & Teller

Last night Kyle called me out to the living room and away from the office to indulge myself in a little 'Bullshit' with Penn & Teller. I've witnessed their comedy routines but had no idea there was a TV series out there. If you are unable to get past the rough language and sarcastic offensiveness of these two than this is not a show for you... quite the contrary, its perfect for Kyle and myself. NOT because we enjoy the aforementioned unchristianlike behavior any more than the rest of you but because their perspective on 'Stranger Danger' is much more palatable, not to mention scientifically founded, than listening to mothers and the media around me talk on a daily basis.

Lenore Skenazy writes for the New York Sun and published an article last year on allowing her 9-year old to ride the subway home from downtown Bloomingdales - alone. It was intriguing listening to this woman speak and what a fantastic article to read (you should when you have 5 minutes to yourself.)

My daughter, Katie, who is 5 years old this coming Saturday has asked multiple times if she could walk down to the mailbox by herself to retrieve our daily bulk of bills and advertising materials. I have wanted so badly to send her on her way yet have been deeply influenced by the faces of other Moms who appear out of thin air speaking to me in ghost-like voices telling me that that would be ludicrous and someone will see this beautiful little girl, kidnap her and rape her. They'll find her body sometime in the next few days... wouldn't you HATE to have known that had she not been allowed to roam she'd be home safe in bed tonight?!

Unfortunately, against my better judgment, I've less-than-confidently told her, 'maybe another time honey' as she walks away with a sulk -- oh wait, that wasn't a sulk it was the manifestation of a caged animal who never discovers how to do anything on its own. Hopefully one of these days I'll release her into the wild with more than a sign saying 'Eat Me. I'm Meaty.'

I'm going to make a change. And yes, I'll write about it.

This week, Katie will walk down the block to the mailbox on her own. The mailbox is on the busy corner of 32nd Dr and 100th St... being a very busy intersection, there's multiple things to concern myself with. Yet Kyle and I have been intentional about training our children to think for themselves - walking behind cars in driveways, walking close to busy streets, being aware of what's going on all around you... I think she'll come through this first 'test' with flying colors!

We let Katie ride without a booster seat when the van is packed full of kids... we've turned our children FORWARD FACING in their car seats at the young age of 9 months... our 18 month old sits at the bar now in our kitchen on a backless stool... I leave them unattended in the bathtub quite often (do you KNOW how many things you can accomplish while the kids play 'Ariel' in the master bath?!)... we've never put up gates or covered our outlets (I guess the shock can't kill them - but its enough to deter them from ever doing it again - AMEN to 'survival of the fittest' mentality!!)... our 18 month old plays with scissors - sometimes inappropriately...

Why then have I allowed myself to be influenced so heavily by such Bull**** as Stranger Danger and how evil our world is?!

Why don't we as parents take it upon ourselves to instead train our children on the basic functions of being independent? Teach them that there are people out there that are mean but that its unlikely they'll ever meet one. Teach them the 'red flags', teach them to be aware of cars, teach them to stop and think as opposed to always thinking for them out of a desire to make it easier on ourselves as parents? We run around with a fear mentality and following the show yesterday evening I'm more aware now that the majority of controlling parents are actually the child-abusers. The detriment on these children is showing up later in life... and the likelihood is a lot higher - 3/3 of my 3 children will be unable to function as opposed to the 1 in a million chance that they will be kidnapped when out from under my watchful (and irrational) eye.

Enough of the Bull****. Lets start thinking for ourselves and maybe we can train our children to do that same.