God could call me, my husband and children to Haiti. He could. Katie, William and Benjamin's bodies could be among the thousands of children crushed by the rubble. It would not be outside of God's character to put our family through this - and do I find myself humbled because I do not live in Haiti? Do I base my daily decisions around finding Him and what He's doing? He COULD call me, Kyle and the kids to Haiti.
But He hasn't.
I've spent many conversations with friends as of late repeating 'its all relative'. What WE go through here in our Mill Creek/S. Everett lives can be 'hard' sometimes, even if it means that we are leagues away from the devastation in Haiti and/or other countries out there. Now those words are being wrestled with... it doesn't seem so relative anymore. My children are alive. Another mother's children are dead.
My children arrived home to a beautiful home - 2115 sq. feet, 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths + den, 5 piece master bath, french doors throughout and walk-in closets. Its new, there's a 'house for my car' attached, and the staircase is rather grand, if I do say so myself.
The reason we have this is because God didn't call us to someplace else. We have lived here and had people live with us, stay with us, commune with us and enjoy the camaraderie that's built when families live together, break bread together and seek Jesus together. We do believe that this is where He wants us.
He hasn't called us to Haiti.
The last few nights I've walked into Katie, William and Benjamin's room and watched them while they slept. This image will be an image that I hold onto as I watch the overwhelming devastation taking place around us.
In Ephesians 2 it talks about being 'One in Christ'. As Kyle, the kids and I seek Jesus alone, with other people in community, we're finding that the desires of our hearts are changing drastically. Each of us is being called to a higher level of accountability and its no longer giving ear to what the 'next best things is' to own BUT instead its solely based around where God would have us 'at this moment.' Does He want us to buy another loaf of bread today or do we go home and make our own? Does He want us to do puzzles on the floor or watch a cartoon? Is He calling me to do crafts with Katie or is He calling me to see to my laundry upstairs? Though these thoughts seem rather arbitrary and inefficient, they're not to the Lord.
In Ephesians 2 it speaks to this heart that the Lord is growing in me: 'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.'
I live in my world of stay-at-home Moms, Gymboree children and full-time working fathers. Its a fog to wade through when looking to see Christ. He's easily lost in the midst of comfort and our need for Him only diminishes because we find less dependency on Him for life's necessities - (we pray for the 'futile' things, no? its not bad, its only bad if we don't recognize it.) But what we aren't made aware of on a daily basis, whether through our spiritual leaders or our close friends 'in Christ', is that our tendency to walk with our heads held high and our children healthy and at our side is appalling to those living in the dirt and praying for God's mercy to uncover their childrens' bodies from the rubble.
Sometimes I want Him to call me to Haiti so that I'm not blinded by the comfort of this world. In the mere three hours without electricity, I watched my children find more joy in Godly things than when things were comfortable.
God showed up in those moments and it is that that I want to cling to.
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