Again and again.

My family. The one I began building in 2000 when I married Kyle, is something that I didn't earn. I didn't do anything to deserve this. And don't try to tell me that I deserve this because of good decisions I made or because I'm a good person... no, the minute we start thinking that we deserve something we begin feeling a superiority to that 'something' and in response we tend to treat that something as though it has less value than ourselves. Don't we?

Kyle and I in our marriage have gone to hell and back. We have watched as others have gone to hell and decided to call it quits... it breaks my heart and it makes me mad. In the moment when we begin chalking up what we deserve we begin losing focus on Jesus Christ and His grace in our lives. What's hardest for me is that those who haven't claimed Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour don't have that Truth to hold onto.

I am so sick tonight and this is simply a rant after hearing of yet another someone who decided that the confines and structure of marriage just 'isn't for them' and they want to separate. If only they understood for just a second that the world doesn't revolve around them... that life isn't about being 'happy'... that married life IS different than being single - nobody's trying to hide that... I want to call the person up, give them what for and make them feel as lowly as possible... than I remember.

I am a selfish, no good human who does not deserve - for even a second - the love and grace of Jesus Christ. I have not the right to call someone up and ridicule them for their sin when they can't even comprehend their own depravity (they don't have a relationship with Christ)... wow, it makes me thankful for the love and grace of my husband. He loves me in spite of my weaknesses... he thinks I am beautiful and can't stop touching me when he's with me! I get so angry with him and yet can't imagine it any other way...

All this to say, thank you Lord for your grace in my marriage. Thank you that this last year has been yet another year of falling deeper in love with my spouse and thank you for the three gorgeous children that you have given to us. We have not done anything to deserve this...

Praise be to You.