It is my hope that everyone who is thinking of Katie from afar and praying for her mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will be emboldened by her words.
LETTER #2 August 2
Dear Mom and family :)
Good morning I think. :) It is August 2nd and I have been at medical since 6 something this morning! The whole company has a nasty sore throat and cough going around which I caught 4-5 days ago. I wasn't going to use up one of my "sick" days for it, but then I got a yeast infection a couple days ago and my senior drill instructor told me to go to medical, so I'm killing two birds with one stone. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be writing letters right now, or if the DI behind us cares if we do, but just in case I'm writing you in my notebook on top of my study materials :) I bet it is obvious I'm writing a letter though, but they haven't yelled at me yet! The guy next to me is writing letters too and the DI just passed him and didn't say anything... I think I am safe!
I'm loving the letters, they are keeping me going somedays. I only really have time to read them after light, so I sit in my top rack - head near an open window! - and pull out my little field flashlight and read and look @ the pictures :) heart
I can't remember exactly what you said in your first letter, but I remember a stream of questions or comments you made that were accurate and spot-on about me. I was smiling like an idiot. I love you so much. I loved the pictures of the cats!
Thank you for all the updates on Harper. I am so grateful he is healing. How is Ben holding up? I imagine he is playing it tough, but he has such a huge heart, I know he must be hurting. Give him a huge hug for me. heart
I don't know exactly what to say about boot camp. It is very true that they break down your sense of self! And you don't realize it until you look in the mirror, or for example today I recited my whole name in the doctor office and I almost started crying! Giving some tangible identity to myself. I have come no where close to losing myself though. Just my name! We are not allowed to motivate at all, or else we get in trouble, but I've started holding the doors for the platoon when we pass through some place so I can whisper encouragement to the girls. Sometimes it is the first nice thing they've heard all day. The DIs are mean.
It has been working though.Yesterday I had two girls pull me aside in the head (bathroom) and tell me I should be squad leader or guide because I am such an encourager. And previous to that, my drill buddy Walter pulled me out of sight of the DIs and gave me a huge hug, and told me thank you for pushing her during the IST & PT. This is also the same friend tht is two racks away from me, and yells "love you guys" every night before she falls asleep. It makes me so happy, so I told her not to stop. It is now a daily thing.
So yes! I have been making friends! The girl I hung out w/ at the airport and I are still close. We are designated battle buddies. She is awesome. Her names is Fediev, but it is pronounced FED-EE-IV. She rock climbs! And is just as hippy and outdoorsy as me + more. She shared some hikes with me that I have to do over leave.
I've been getting plenty close with some of the other girls too. There are now 91 of us, we picked up a few so it is a challenge to know everyone's names, but we are all growing close despite it. The girl in the top rack to the left of me asked what my name was yesterday - first name - and then said "goodnight Katie" when we were falling asleep. That was a special moment.
Last week, during Senior Drill Instructor square away time (free time to talk to our senior drill instructor normally - we still have to say "this recruit") SSGT Peraza told me to relax, (I was standing at attention) then she smiled at me and asked what my name was. She made eye contact w/ me and all! It was so human. It felt like a breathe of fresh air.
The exhaustion hit me hard starting this week. I hit my pillow and am out cold. I feel like I'm running on fumes today, but I think that is just because I am sick and tired.
I got a letter from Victoria Hutt. She was so encouraging and she made a great point about boot camp: It is a game you will never win until the end. It was encouraging. The yelling & pushing won't stop until the end, it is inevitable, so I just have to deal with it :) Muscle through! I'm good at that! I'm tough.
The days fly by too. I will probably be excused from my bench here to go eat chow w/in the next 2-3 hours, maybe sooner. Then I will wait some more, then evening chow, then drill, then lights :). Then Thursday! Almost done w/ the week already! Then only 10 more. I will see you so soon. :)
Grandma and Grandpa Berges, as well as Aunt Hannah asked me what prayer requests I had. Would you mind passing them on?
1) Strength to not slack off. I want to give my 100% all the time.
2) Feeling God's presence all day everyday.
3) knowing how to serve my platoon, whether that is to pick up a leadership role, or just keep encouraging from where I'm at.
4) Peace. Just peace. And mental & emotional peace and rest w/in the busy and the yelling.
I love you so much. Give dad a huge hug for me. I'm missing the Dad hugs!
Tell the boys I love them and think about them all the time. I wish we were doing this together. We would make it fun. :)
Again, I love you, I will write again soon.
- Your daughter, Katie
(can you send me some stamps? Thank you!)
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