i'm just gonna say it

... were the words that came out of Kyle's mouth tonight as we stood in the kitchen and talked about how Katie had just responded to him before heading upstairs to brush her teeth.

you don't put it on that way... Dad.  Dad.  its not on the right way (she said with a tone of annoyance regarding the way Kyle was putting the cushions back on the couch)

Kyle responded with a quick 'yep, i see it' and nothing more.  No look of disbelief, no quick, stern voice of reprimand, no size 11 to the chest... NOTHING!

I began processing in my mind how to approach the subject as Katie made her way down the entry hall and up the stairs - likely walking shoulders back, chin set and with a look of annoyance in her eyes as she scaled the last few steps on her way to brushing teeth.

Kyle, this is what I'm battling all day with her right now... I work so hard at getting to the root of where her heart's at and I feel like you and I are not on the same page with regards to how she is allowed to speak to you and I.  I don't understand why you just allow her to speak that way...

fast forward a few minutes to...

i'm just gonna say it (Kyle says to me as he leans casually against the wall)...

I stand with my hips hitting the counter as I look over at him.  My back is straight and my chin is lifted... I look at him quizzically as though I'm not sure what's about to come out... and then moments before the words escape his lips, I know.

Jesseca.  Riley.  Attitude.  Kids watch us.  Example.  ... within a split second these things begin flooding my mind as I listen to Kyle continue...

Krista, I'm deaf to it quite honestly... when I get home I'm on your turf.  You like things a certain way and have expectations of how everything is run... you respond to my lack of meeting those expectations in much the same way as Katie did just now... I'm just, kinda, used to it, I guess... he says as he shrugs his shoulders and scrunches his face to give off a sense that he doesn't mean to be abrasive - just honest.  Totally and completely honest.

He's right.  He was so wonderful and humble and kind to clarify that he does not want to enable our daughter's attitude as he and I work through how I can better respond to him when he's at home helping me do my things... but in the least, I was ever so quieted.  God had, once again in His faithfulness, prepared me for the blow just yesterday as Jesseca and I talked more seriously about Riley's attitude, how she responds to him, what he experiences and how he may be adopting some of her sin... I had no idea it would so beautifully fit into what I'd be learning 24 hours later.

as i walk into our morning tomorrow as a family, sipping coffee and getting Dad off to work I will be ever so carefully speaking to my husband as the kids watch me with eyes peeled and hearts at the ready...


to adopt 

whatever it is 

they see me do 

 ... by the grace of God go i.  

© katie schei photography :)

to kyle... my wonderful husband, friend, lover and lifetime partner in battle... I love you so much and will from this moment on take to heart the words you spoke tonight.  it was a blow and i am humbled and ever so ready to begin a whole new chapter...

when you're on my turf... i'll give you the ball and let you run with it - the kids will be watching!

(i'll just quietly coach under my breath sometimes, if that's ok)