Confidence in my shamelessness.

Usually that confidence is accompanied by some snide remark about how it should be ok when I'm feeling chilled and nauseous all day to stay in my sweats, drive to school unshowered and in flip flops... but lets face it, that defensive reaction comes from my concern that there will be no way to appease the outside world so its best to succumb to a fake form of confidence and put up my dukes - ready for opposition and judgement.

But not today. Today God told me that He would bless me and that I was to sit still. Allow Him to work. And trust that He would bring everything together. I was quietly confident in my inability to accomplish anything; but more than that, I was obedient in not accomplishing what I thought necessary to accomplish. I walked around the house without turning the TV on since lately Kyle and I have felt strongly that our children's misbehavior and lack of ability to focus is another symptom of too much TV in their lives. And although I thought it would be easier to turn on the TV, I felt that that was actually a lie. The repercussions would be such that I'd be entertaining them and fighting for moments alone once the entertainment seized to entertain.

The kids took care of me... their words were (for the most part) kind to each other and loving in very mature ways. William spent 10 minutes this morning stroking my forehead while I laid in bed (in obedience to what Kyle asked him to do! too cute!)... Katie helped around the house without me asking... Ben was surprisingly less vocal about his disgust at not getting his way... yes, God is good. Friends cared. There's always Valet. And Kyle proves to be a doctor of sorts when the rubber meets the road.

Thank you Lord for today. Although I'm tired and sick I can still see your face in all of it.