I did something dirty this morning.

Christmas with all of its marvels - Santa, the elves, the toys, the plate of cookies and reindeer that can fly - has always been something I've held onto into motherhood.  It brings me so much excitement to think of the kids going to bed with one eye open the night before Christmas -- its so magical and FUN!

Same goes for the tooth fairy - not so much the Easter Bunny cause I think he's creepy - but the tooth fairy is dainty and quiet and sparkly and lovely and and and and and...

Upon Katie losing her first tooth months back, I made a big deal and got a 'gold coin' to put under her pillow.  She held onto that coin for days and days... she was distraught when the coin was no longer shiny gold but was now distressed and green in color from the sweat of her tiny palm.  That would likely be the last time I'd scrounge in my purse for something lovely and different - I'll just give her a regular coin.  They hold up much better and don't have 'Woodland Park Zoo Merry Go Round' etched on the back that I pretended said something else.

Yesterday, Katie bit into something and in a terrified gasp opened her mouth and showed me her tooth hanging by a couple of threads.  She didn't want me to touch it and I told her that I wasn't going to pay to go to the dentist... I told her I needed to pull it out.  While she thought I was innocently drying it off with the corner of a napkin, I did my best pincer grasp, twisted, and pulled... to her alarm I stood there, smile on my face and a tooth in my fingers.  She giggled and ran to the bathroom to look at the hole.

We wrote a letter to the tooth fairy last night... we put the tooth in a jar and turned off the lights.

The tooth fairy didn't come.  Katie bawled these words from her room only moments after waking up and my stomach SANK.  I had forgotten!  How could I let her go on thinking in not just a tooth fairy but a tooth fairy that couldn't manage her time very well?!  I heard her whimpering and crying in her pillow (no joke) in fear that the tooth fairy just didn't remember her...

I knew that it would be better for her to believe in a fallible Mom instead of trying to comprehend the fault of a very busy tooth fairy... so I pulled her into my bed and cuddled with her.  It took me probably a full minute to get the words out, 'honey, the tooth fairy is actually Mommy and Daddy...'  She quizzically looked up from laying her head on my shoulder.  'Yeah, the tooth fairy didn't forget you.  Mommy forgot to pretend to be the tooth fairy last night.  The tooth fairy is pretend.'  What I thought would be heart-wrenching was surprisingly FREEING for both Katie and I!  Katie didn't feel forgotten and I didn't have to hide anymore!

Now, if only I can get out the realities of the Christmas season. Of course they know why we celebrate Christmas -- they're just sure that Santa loves Jesus too... probably not unlike that weird picture of Santa bowing in front of a manger.

I better right this one. And quick.

With the best of intentions.

So this morning I woke with the energy to see my children off to their friends' house (likely in their pajamas but in-the-car-and-out-of-the-house-before-2pm, none the less) and I myself would drive down to South Seattle, scope out the Rock N Roll Marathon course and make decisions on where I want to get some great shots of the race.

All the great intentions went quickly out the door the moment Katie looked at her toast, whimpered and stared at me with big, scared eyes.  'Mom, I don't feel very good...'  At which moment her lips turned bluish/white and her face went pale.

To the couch!  She laid down and held the big metal mixing bowl in her arms as she tried to watch cartoons.  Every so often she would sit up, head in the bowl, coughing and sputtering and crying... and I, with all the maternal energy I could muster, would climb across the couch and sit behind her holding her hair out of her face...

(momentary pause for the interesting memories that leapt into my head at that moment)

She did not end up getting sick... yet ironically, after I canceled my entire day, seemed to rise out of the druthers she was in for the morning and around 11am asked for something to eat!

(what the?!!)


I asked her to take it slow and when lunch was served she, in her most mature moment to date, didn't want to eat out of fear for her stomach getting upset -- I didn't have the immaturity in me to point out the ridiculousness of her fort-making, couch-hopping activities and her ability to think so maturely.  The Mongoose IPA I'd been sipping on was only 1/5 of the way gone -- I'd been expecting a day's worth of pajamas and couch sitting and movies and throwing up and now it looks like I may be able to leave the house - one drink metabolizes an hour, correct?  Check.

As I imagined, she's just woken from her quiet time upstairs and is watching some cartoons CLOTHED.  No pajamas, no bed head (she's actually put a clip in her hair) and her face is colorful.

Now I need to go from ENERGIZED-READY-TO-ACCOMPLISH-TASKS-KRISTA to ENERGIZED-BUT-NOT-GETTING-ANYTHING-DONE-THAT-I-INTENDED-TO-GET-DONE-SO-I'M-REALLY-ANGRY-KRISTA to WOW-NOW-I-SHOULD-TRY-TO-ACCOMPLISH-SOMETHING-BUT-IT-LOOKS-LIKE-NOTHING-I-NEED-TO-ACCOMPLISH-WILL-FIT-INTO-A-MATTER-OF-A-FEW-HOURS-AND-NOW-I'M-STILL-ANGRY-KRISTA.

I will take a deep breathe, finish nursing my IPA and sit on the couch to watch Dragon Tales with Katie.  The boys are still asleep - I'm chalking that up as my biggest accomplishment for the day.

What a day. What a Dad.

Happy Fathers Day to EVERYONE! Not just Dads but also the Moms and kids -- its been a great day to set what I want aside (clean house) and enter into a day of what it is that Kyle enjoys. The kids have enjoyed finger paints and Moon Sand -- things that I would usually prepare myself for in advance. But no, Dad was all about BEING The Dad today while I went to Seattle early this morning and helped Jess get the kids ready for a wedding... (here's a few pics, of course!)

Aren't they looking svelte?!  They were likely the talk of the wedding... aside from the bride, of course!  I had a wonderful time hanging out and doing whatever I could to be of assistance... and then I high-tailed it home to be with Kyle and the kids.

When I arrived home this morning, Kyle and the kids had finished watching a couple episodes of a new series on Nickelodeon called 'Avatar' (different than what you think) and had just sat down to paint and relish in building sand sculptures on the table. I smiled and got excited that today, aside from all of my hopes for a spotless house, I would instead look at spending those moments serving Kyle and embracing the relationships instead of trying to create what is, to me, a comfortable... clean... and spotless environment for me to function in.

Kyle appreciates clean. He does not obsess over it.

I need to learn to appreciate THAT. I served my husband by not cleaning today! Who gets to say that?!

We ate fondu for lunch standing at the counter... casual-style.  Kyle is laying down for a nap whilst I edit photos blog. We (the kids and I) will put together chicken enchiladas for dinner tonight and then we will... oh... I don't know! Probably watch a movie... play on the iPad... do NOTHING.

I'm learning to appreciate that what I consider 'doing nothing' is what Kyle considers 'fulfilling and energizing'... oh, this is a good day. I'm going to kick back and do nothing. I say that lovingly... and with respect. THIS is nice.

Aaaaahhh... zzzzzzzz...

The 'early morning Thursday' photo shoot I spoke of...

Spending time with this beautiful woman is an experience -- she has no idea how lovely she is and the beauty that just exudes from her! She is wonderful to watch as she mothers her little girl and the time spent with 'Stacy', the cow, was killer -- what fun!

It was a great shoot -- all I have to say is, The Golden Cow.

5 of them. 1 of me.

This morning started out a little faster than our usual Tuesday morning... I wanted to get all the 5 kids out for a 'mini-shoot' to see what this beautiful summer light was going to do to my photo shoot early Thursday morning -- I can HOPE, right, that it'll be sunny then like it was this morning?!

I love what the light was like... but the earlier the better.

Not complaining.

The kids decided they wanted to work in the yard.

Challenge.

Any photo I offer a client should print beautifully.

There are a lot of photographers out there -- but I want to be set apart.

I want my images to print well. Print beautifully. Its not so hard to 'wow' someone with emitted light... the challenge is wowing someone with reflective light.