USMC Boot Camp Letters - Letter #2

It is my hope that everyone who is thinking of Katie from afar and praying for her mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will be emboldened by her words.

LETTER #2                                                                                                                             August 2

Dear Mom and family :)

Good morning I think. :) It is August 2nd and I have been at medical since 6 something this morning! The whole company has a nasty sore throat and cough going around which I caught 4-5 days ago. I wasn't going to use up one of my "sick" days for it, but then I got a yeast infection a couple days ago and my senior drill instructor told me to go to medical, so I'm killing two birds with one stone. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be writing letters right now, or if the DI behind us cares if we do, but just in case I'm writing you in my notebook on top of my study materials :) I bet it is obvious I'm writing a letter though, but they haven't yelled at me yet! The guy next to me is writing letters too and the DI just passed him and didn't say anything... I think I am safe!

I'm loving the letters, they are keeping me going somedays. I only really have time to read them after light, so I sit in my top rack - head near an open window! - and pull out my little field flashlight and read and look @ the pictures :) heart

I can't remember exactly what you said in your first letter, but I remember a stream of questions or comments you made that were accurate and spot-on about me. I was smiling like an idiot. I love you so much. I loved the pictures of the cats!

Thank you for all the updates on Harper. I am so grateful he is healing. How is Ben holding up? I imagine he is playing it tough, but he has such a huge heart, I know he must be hurting. Give him a huge hug for me. heart

I don't know exactly what to say about boot camp. It is very true that they break down your sense of self! And you don't realize it until you look in the mirror, or for example today I recited my whole name in the doctor office and I almost started crying! Giving some tangible identity to myself. I have come no where close to losing myself though. Just my name! We are not allowed to motivate at all, or else we get in trouble, but I've started holding the doors for the platoon when we pass through some place so I can whisper encouragement to the girls. Sometimes it is the first nice thing they've heard all day. The DIs are mean.

It has been working though.Yesterday I had two girls pull me aside in the head (bathroom) and tell me I should be squad leader or guide because I am such an encourager. And previous to that, my drill buddy Walter pulled me out of sight of the DIs and gave me a huge hug, and told me thank you for pushing her during the IST & PT. This is also the same friend tht is two racks away from me, and yells "love you guys" every night before she falls asleep. It makes me so happy, so I told her not to stop. It is now a daily thing.

So yes! I have been making friends! The girl I hung out w/ at the airport and I are still close. We are designated battle buddies. She is awesome. Her names is Fediev, but it is pronounced FED-EE-IV. She rock climbs! And is just as hippy and outdoorsy as me + more. She shared some hikes with me that I have to do over leave.

I've been getting plenty close with some of the other girls too. There are now 91 of us, we picked up a few so it is a challenge to know everyone's names, but we are all growing close despite it. The girl in the top rack to the left of me asked what my name was yesterday - first name - and then said "goodnight Katie" when we were falling asleep. That was a special moment.

Last week, during Senior Drill Instructor square away time (free time to talk to our senior drill instructor normally - we still have to say "this recruit") SSGT Peraza told me to relax, (I was standing at attention) then she smiled at me and asked what my name was. She made eye contact w/ me and all! It was so human. It felt like a breathe of fresh air.

The exhaustion hit me hard starting this week. I hit my pillow and am out cold. I feel like I'm running on fumes today, but I think that is just because I am sick and tired.

I got a letter from Victoria Hutt. She was so encouraging and she made a great point about boot camp: It is a game you will never win until the end. It was encouraging. The yelling & pushing won't stop until the end, it is inevitable, so I just have to deal with it :) Muscle through! I'm good at that! I'm tough.

The days fly by too. I will probably be excused from my bench here to go eat chow w/in the next 2-3 hours, maybe sooner. Then I will wait some more, then evening chow, then drill, then lights :). Then Thursday! Almost done w/ the week already! Then only 10 more. I will see you so soon. :)

Grandma and Grandpa Berges, as well as Aunt Hannah asked me what prayer requests I had. Would you mind passing them on?

1) Strength to not slack off. I want to give my 100% all the time.

2) Feeling God's presence all day everyday.

3) knowing how to serve my platoon, whether that is to pick up a leadership role, or just keep encouraging from where I'm at.

4) Peace. Just peace. And mental & emotional peace and rest w/in the busy and the yelling.

I love you so much. Give dad a huge hug for me. I'm missing the Dad hugs!

Tell the boys I love them and think about them all the time. I wish we were doing this together. We would make it fun. :)

Again, I love you, I will write again soon.

- Your daughter, Katie

(can you send me some stamps? Thank you!)

USMC Boot Camp Letters - Letter #1

It is my hope that everyone who is thinking of Katie from afar and praying for her mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will be emboldened by her words.

LETTER #1                                                                                                                                 July 30th

Dear Mom,

I read your letters yesterday in my rack, I received them just an hour before. I teared up a bit. I missed your handwriting! I am writing between songs in church and now during our bible studies. Mom, church is amazing. The service takes place in a theatre, the same one you will get briefed in on family day, right before you get to hug me. The theatre is packed full, 1st & 2nd platoons. with recruits & Marines. Most of the service is worship. It is magical, we all wrap our arms around each other and sing. The whole theatre is filled with voices and swaying recruits. It is so powerful. People raise their hands and cry and laugh and shout for joy. Today our "older sisters" in the column next to us called us girls over and joined arms with us, encouraged us, hugged us. We call them big sisters because they are graduating this week. My company is still little sisters. But! No longer the babies! A new company picked up on Monday.

I am a little scatter-brained, I'm sitting in the bible study class right now. It is lead by an old 'nam vet, who actually reminds me of grandpa Berges. :) 

I can't get over how magical church here is. I'm going to miss it.

After this class we will go back to the squad bay, or what we call "the house", we might get messed with a little, then off to chow. Then probably PT (which is easy!) then maybe some drill, then our evening routine. Lights out is 9pm. We wake up @ 5am (5:30 on Sundays). I won't lie, mornings are rough! They mess w/ us right off the bat, but all I focus on is getting to chow. The food isn't too bad! I just wish we had more time to eat. It is funny though, we all run out of the chow hall directly into formation outside, we are all silent and standing at attention, but you hear random burps echo through the formation.

On the daily I'm in the woodland cammies and boots, but my trousers are cuffed, not bloused. I got my issued glasses yesterday! They are so goofy! But we are all looking goofy together.

There are 90 girls in my platoon, we had 94 but we are still going strong. All in all, I am doing good. I am tired and worn out, but I'm living chow to chow. The days go by fast that way. Already two weeks done!! I think we leave for Pendleton week 6 or 7? Once we get there - "up North" they call it - boot mellows out mentally. I just have to make it to that point, no problem. :) Then begins the hiking! I'm so giddy for that!

I've been craving Grub Hut burgers and milkshakes, that might have to be my first eat-out during my boot leave. :)

I love you guys so much. I miss you all a lot. It hit me hard a day or two ago. 11 more weeks to go. Time does not stop. It will be Sunday again soon.

Hug everyone for me, pet the cats, pet Winnie. Also enjoy your morning coffee too! I miss that. I can't wait to come back and enjoy quiet moment w/ you in the morning. My inner clock will wake me up early! Blankets, coffee, books, early in the morning sitting together on the couch.

This letter is slightly scatter-brained, but more to come. I love you so so much, Ma.

- Your daughter, Katie

Katie wrapped the letter in a separate piece of paper with a short note...

I love you all so much. I will write more soon. I love you all. (we march everywhere. Miles a day, and our DI just started singing our cadence. It is so incredibly beautiful. I almost started crying the first time she did it. It was early morning and surprisingly foggy. Lovely.)

Point White Dock with Riles.

Thirteen.

She is thirteen.

    

What an amazing journey our family has been on since my last post.  Someday we will share but     for now we are relishing in what is happening TODAY.

And TODAY she is thirteen.

Gifts were given today that are meant to last her for years and years.  This is the beginning of something new... what a privilege to be with her in the first moments.

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I were coming home from having lunch with Grandpa and Grandma Schei. Grandpa and Grandma had been gone for 5 weeks in Europe and we couldn't wait to walk in their house, see their faces and feel immediately like things were 'back to normal' - we really missed having them be a part of our daily life. As we drove down our street towards home we saw in the distance the school bus slowing to a stop, red STOP SIGN flipping out and the bus driver reaching for the lever. A little boy stepped off the school bus, waited for the bus driver to wave him safely across the street and he disappeared into the lane beyond our house. I looked in the rear view mirror at my three children who, were I to choose, would be on that exact same bus home everyday. It was 2:30pm. It used to be that the concept of homeschooling my children was foreign, nowadays it is the other way around. How different our family would be if I waved goodbye to them at 7:31am, spent the next 7 hours doing what I could accomplish without kids, then reintroducing ourselves to each other mid-afternoon. There is NO JUDGMENT here. It is simply unfathomable to me at this point - my life would be worlds different.

At 6:25am my alarm goes off and I hit snooze... it goes off again at 6:34 (those 9 minutes are luxurious! who gets 9 extra minutes to sleep?! NO ONE!) I walk down the hallway and make a beeline for the coffee pot... fill a mug with coffee and a touch of half n half, cup it in all its warmth and sip away - often it's 1/2 cup down before Benjamin strolls out in his shirt and underoos with his doggie hanging limp from his fist, dragging on the ground. We make peanut butter, honey & cinnamon toast and talk through his upcoming day at school - his SCHOOL AWAY FROM HOME school... he goes for 4 hours each day to Kindergarten because he and I both needed it. The thing is, my desire to put Benjamin in Kindergarten is, what I imagine, the small-scale version of why many parents have their kids in school for most of their growing up years. It creates a safe place for the kid to grow a set of, uh, wings... a guaranteed set of hours for Mom to gain back her, uh, self... and then the joyous reunion at midday seems a wonderful spark to keep the relationship satisfactory, if not exemplary. And for Benjamin and I, it has worked out splendidly - but he gets home at 11:20am for 1/2 day Kindergarten. I cannot imagine him being absent for an entire school day.

Once Ben is on the bus, I exercise while the older kids get dressed and prepped for their school day. We sit quietly in the living room from 8:00 - 8:30am while I do my bible study and they do their 30 minutes of SSR. We all meet in the school room (with more coffee and snacks galore) and begin... 100 days of school countdown, spelling, bible study, language, reading, writing, math, art, electives and more, depending on the day. At first, with homeschooling, it's as though you're trying to steer a ship and then it becomes like sailing the more you experience it. And not unlike sailing, you see an entirely NEW WAY of discovering something be it education or the open water. You are always aware of the factors at play, you're intentional and precise but, oddly enough, much more free to go where the wind takes you. And when the sun sets, where else do I want to be? I've set my anchor for the day and smile broadly at what God has done in and through me. The rewards are oh so sweet after a grueling day of calculating, disciplining, talking, laughing, discerning and educating... my kids are becoming like Christ. And I SEE IT. All day and first hand. No, I don't believe this is the ONLY way to educate children, it is simply the best way for our family, for now.

****

WILLIAM says, 'Mom, the Avengers couldn't be real because it would break a LOT of laws of physics.'

KATIE says after a wonderful discussion about a story in our reading curriculum, 'It is YOUR choice how big your 'Monsters' are in your life.  If you get closer, they'll get smaller... but if you're afraid and you run, they'll look REALLY big.'  Beautiful!  I was almost in tears!

BENJAMIN comes in off the bus and says, 'Mom, in homeschool we talk about God, at church school we talk about God but at regular school we do not talk about God.'  Very matter of fact.  No inflection, just observation. 

... I want to be a part of these thought processes and watch them mature into what they are becoming.  I'm so glad it is what I'm supposed to do right now.

more kids II

more kids.

love me some more kids.

got to care for these lovely girls this afternoon & evening... cannot wait to have them here again tomorrow!  (and either can my kids...)