Ben and I have bonded during this time as we drop the kids off and walk home then six hours later walk to the school to pick them up.
Ben has taught me to stop and smell the flowers. And there are a lot of flowers on our route.
The home owners here, for the most part, take meticulous care of their grounds - not yards, grounds. From straight lines and green lawns to sweeping staircases and flowering bushes. It is a lovely walk. I'm not complaining. I'm just thinking of all I could enjoy with my eyes AND how much I'll get done once we get home... its not outrageous or irrational.
In the morning I walk with my cup of coffee in hand, kids running ahead and trailing behind... Ben is usually exercising the fine art of strolling and stopping to, yep, smell all the flowers. The routine of the morning now demands an extra 5 minutes in the happenstance that Benjamin finds a new flower or meets a one-armed-needs-to-be-carried grasshopper that, surprisingly, wants to be carried on the very tip of his newly sharpened pencil all the way to the schoolyard.
Living here in Tacoma without the social circle of my friends up North has created a hole in me that wasn't there before. A hole that was often filled with wonderful conversation and the oh-so-often drop-by of friends and their children; a hole that got filled with leadership to-dos and the daily life of living somewhere where things were always buzzing because you were a part of the buzz.
I'm not yet a part of the buzz here. My heart often aches and I push through the desire to be sought after and included in the daily lives of those around me that this has been their normal buzz for a long time. I understand it takes awhile... but the quiet moments make the not-included-in-the-buzz buzz REALLY LOUD.
In my attempt to be a part of things, I finally recognize that the little boy to my right, er left, er right... oh for goodness' sake, the little boy hanging from the tree above me vying for my attention, is exactly the buzz that God has given me to be a part of. Not to mention his older brother and sister... not to mention his Dad.
The attempt to recreate for myself a social diorama has become increasingly less appealing. For one, I told my discussion group this last week that I wanted to be more present moment by moment with my kids and two, as I've been more present, the richness of relationship has been something to grin about. It has tickled me pink.
We signed the bigger kids up for soccer - knowing that that time for Benjamin would be just as energizing... running up and down the field, yelling at his siblings and spinning in a bazillion circles around Kyle and I; I signed up for a co-op preK school and am taking part in a few of the committees - all for the purpose of watching Benjamin grow bigger; I've begun cooking again and enjoying the process of having the kids help me; they also do chores and mess up on the chores and then, lo and behold, we have to clean up a huge mess TOGETHER. Score! Chore done AND I spent quality time with my child. Things are really becoming clear for me.
Thanks to a gracious God.
So what have we been up to this week? Practically nothing. In fact, Kyle and I got sick and couldn't do much of anything and its been some of my favorite moments to date here in Tacoma. The kids got to relax at home, cook meals for us (thank you for breakfast today, Katie) and play an endless amount of it-takes-lots-of-imagination-to-play games.
I've smelled the flowers and it energizes me. Come on kids, let's go plant some!
Chef Katie cooked breakfast this morning after seeing egg-in-a-hole in my cookbook... she improvised and added some things. It was delish!
And William sat at the table building. It was such a good morning.
I honestly have no idea where Benjamin was.
